diary

my barest soul (episode 6)

1. Memories

I have let the most beautiful people go. I have even let some of my best memories go, but I have kept those most heartbreaking ones, perhaps because they are closest to the soul.

2. A day alone

I had a quiet breakfast at NUS canteen this morning before heading to my school. (The food at West Coast market is really pathetic, while Clementi Central reminds me too much of a beautiful past that is no more.) I saw a picture of my old coursemate Sasi presenting at a conference outside a lecturer's office -- and I thought: time really flies.

I cannot believe that I actually spent half an hour calling kids to turn up for their CCA tomorrow, knowing that more than half would refuse to turn up. But such is life. To top things off, I have to physically go down to Toa Payoh Lorong 1 to see if an NSman still resides there, because he is uncontactable via phone (as I was given the unfortunate responsibility of the detachment IC -- army guys will have a faint idea of what I'm talking about). Anyway, I reached here and found him and another guy (presumably his brother) playing computer games in front of the TV set. Their room seems to be very filthy. On first sight, I can already imagine that most of the NT kids in my school would end up like these: aimless people without a sense of direction in life and wasting their lives away. In fact while I was on the bus ride back home just now, I actually thought f writing a story through the eyes of a teenager from a problematic family, but I know I simply do not have the luxury of time.

Anyway -- so that took up half the day. I went to Orchard Kinokuniya, but I bought nothing in spite of looking at many books. Then I went to Bras Basah. I bought some pens and a drawing pad. I did not buy any books there either. Initially, I wanted to go to Fort Canning to draw, but my cousin's call (to talk about depressing family issues) and the sad sight of a beloved tree took away my mood for drawing. The place was also unusually filled with picnicking families and newlyweds and couples, so I left and went to Citilink and Marina Square. I had an early dinner at Cavana's (they are selling chicken rice at $4.50 now) while watching Michael Jackson's concert video and I wondered what's the big deal about him besides his break-dancing.

After dinner I went to transfer money for Bro and helped Mum buy some Christmas cards. (Half my day alone is filled with miscellaneous errands of all sorts -- I must also mention the impossible queue at Bras Basah Post Office which took up a great deal of my time simply because I needed to fax something to my reservist unit and the whole world does not provide faxing services there.)

I bought a cheap notebook from Muji and an old Wang Jie CD. Impressed right? I actually did NOT buy any of the Jap CDs I thought of getting (Emi Fujita, X Japan, Mika Nakashima, Kiroro).

The only good news is, the NPCC meeting tomorrow is postponed. So no matter how many cadets turn up or do not turn up tomorrow, at least I can have keep my mind either clear or dead, rather than cluttered or stressed or tired. Of course, problems will always come, but I shall enjoy peace while I can.

posted by sin @ 8:44 PM