more ramblings...
... ... ... ...and, as time passes...we give ourselves over to work. We give ourselves over to ambitions, pride, the necessity of money, our ever-demanding parents, society, bosses, our dreams, our endless shopping lists and wish-lists...we lose sight of ourselves, and we gradually lose ourselves.
God, I miss so many old songs. And former experiences too. Especially when I passed by the Singapore Art Museum yesterday evening. I miss chilling out in the evenings. And sadly, the old Victoria Food Court is gone. I cried there before; yes, I remember all these so very clearly.
And my piles and stacks of sketchbooks, written from the depths of my soul in pain...it all began around 1995 to 1997, and they were all thrown away and burnt some time around 2001...I have very few to show and tell now.
What will make me happy now, really? You will not believe it, but if I should just have a few of my favourite songs to listen to, and the quiet night all to myself, with pen and paper to doodle, and a hot beverage with light supper, I shall be glad to even pass away at midnight, with fond rememberance of friends and people who have touched my life in different ways at different times. Who understands joy, love, and suffering better than I do?
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and, as time passes...we give ourselves over to work. We give ourselves over to ambitions, pride, the necessity of money, our ever-demanding parents, society, bosses, our dreams, our endless shopping lists and wish-lists...we lose sight of ourselves, and we gradually lose ourselves.
I forgot why I wanted friends or needed them, because I had been living on my own for so long, until it dawned upon me that people are the most important things in the world. Would you save a Delacroix painting from a fire or would you save a human being? Of course a human being! No religion or art is greater than the love of human beings, as Van Gogh rightly observed.
But we behaved in childish ways, unreasonable ways, even cruel ways...cruel to ourselves and to others. It is such cruelty that drives people to madness, depression, alienation, despair, and eventually suicide.
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I forgot why I rambled all these to begin with, only to return to the point that I want a simple life. A simple, happy life. A life of freedom, of love, of forgiveness, of longsuffering, and of beauty. Beauty of one's life, beauty of the soul.
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