diary

episode 25

Patience and surrender. I have learnt to wait patiently for the rainy season to be over. I have learnt to wait for all bad things to come to pass. I have learnt to wait for January and the New Year to be over. I have learnt to wait for a time to draw while work continues to last. I have learnt to accept not-knowing-the-answer as the answer. I have learnt to be grateful for each moment of rest and each mouthful of water. In short, I have learnt to surrender, to life.

There really is a time for everything. And I learn to wait, while savouring what I can.

A few years back, one of my favourite love songs is 'End of the World' by Skeeter Davis. I love singing the song alone.

Today, I bought two books on Indian writing. The stories, context, and even values seem to be outdated and old-fashioned, but for reasons unknown I love them all the same. Myabe I am becoming what they call 'old school'.

I was looking at many books at Kinokuniya yesterday. There were many good books on drawing, and I was about to buy them all, when a voice inside me told me to look inside instead of look outside, to look within instead of look without. It is a dangerous thing to look at other people's art, because ultimately one must find one's own voice.

I have learnt to accept each failure, whether a bad classroom session or a bad drawing, as a stepping stone to better things to come.

I have learnt to sleep and rest at peace, without any care.

If it should rain, let it rain, If it should shine, let it shine. I shall just watch and wait.

posted by sin @ 8:35 PM